I am learning just how difficult it is to say ‘no’. It’s one of the hardest words for anyone in a helping profession.  Leaders in the church, in particular, are not often taught the art of ‘no’. But our ability to master this word will determine the long term effectiveness and impact of our ministry.

‘No’ requires courage, and it comes at a cost.  But the long term payoff will always trump the short term cost- what’s at stake is protecting your family, and honoring your soul.

The more I teach, the more I find that the art of ‘no’ is an essential discipline in the life of anyone who seeks to regularly communicate the Scriptures faithfully and effectively.  And considering that many pastors are generalists responsible for counseling, caring, leadership and management, it is critical that those who teach can create the margin necessary for creativity and study by saying ‘no’ to the urgent.

In his book, “Making Ideas Happen” , Scott Belsky challenges anyone involved in creative pursuits that “it’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important”.

Over time, cultivating the art of ‘no’ creates what Belsky calls the ‘mental loyalty’  to address long term objectives.  For church communicators, the long term objective is life transformation.  It means saying no to the constant flow of urgent matters, so that  we can think long thoughts, roll up our sleeves, sweat over and wrestle through a message until we have a laser sharp focus on the one thing that God wants to communicate to His people.

‘No’, especially when it involves the real needs of broken people, is hard.  It will often be unpopular.  But when done for the sake of a larger goal, ‘no’ is always worth it.

There’s a popular television show about the Advertising Industry on Madison Avenue in the early 1960s.  ‘Mad Men’ has become a kind of cultural phenomenon – something that Brooks Brothers, Banana Republic, and the New York Times all agree on.

‘Mad Men’ invites us into an industry whose goal is to convince all of us that we can’t be satisfied until we buy the next thing that they’re selling.  In fact, the entire show is built on this message, this idea that you are not satisfied with the life you’re living.

Its characters are unsatisfied with their jobs, unsatisfied with their marriage, their kids, and their family history.  So they drink more, smoke more, work more, lust more, dress for more success, wear more makeup, make more money, anything they can do to fill that emptiness in their life.  Beneath the veneer of well-dressed success, attraction and power, beneath the plastic faces and half-drunk smiles, is a profoundly, sober commentary on the emptiness of more.

Every day, in a thousand little ways, we are ambushed by this idea that we are not satisfied.

Conventional wisdom is that we find contentment in our circumstances.   But what if contentment was not so much a result of circumstances, but a response to them?  What if contentment was a disciplined, learned response to the circumstances of life?

That our contentment is no longer tied to how much we have, the awards we’ve racked up, a full bill of health, or a pain free life.

What we’ll find is that we are no longer slaves to circumstance, but free to embrace the reality of God’s abiding presence, no matter what surrounds us. That is true contentment.

WHAT IS PEOPLE OF THE SECOND CHANCE? from PEOPLE OF THE SECOND CHANCE on Vimeo.

People of the Second Chance is a movement started by Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite. I first met Mike on a vision trip with Hope International in the Dominican Republic. He leads an innovative non profit group called Ethur, and has generated some incredible culture-shaping initiatives like XXXchurch.com, and the Junky Car Club. This latest project is a way of celebrating the scandalous grace of God, and acknowledging, in the words of Warren Buffet, that “every saint has a past and every sinner has a future”.

I walked into a fluorescent lit waiting room, found a seat, and turned my attention to the television blasting late night reruns of Jerry Springer. There was no one else in the waiting room, so I waited alone. I was tired, it was too early, or too late, and the thought of pre-dawn swim practice before school made me nauseous. Tonight my mother’s migraine headaches were too painful to bear—a week long migraine was enough to drive anyone mad. So on this night she asked to be taken to the emergency room, as she did a few times a year. My step father was angry and resentful, he refused to take her. He stayed in bed, struggling to accept the suffering that has slowly become his bride after all these years. Mom woke me up, asked that I drive her to Methodist, and wait while the doctor injected enough Phenergan and Demerol to deaden the pain of three patients.

There is irony in a hospital waiting room: the place where I go to find comfort seems only to evoke a sense of coldness and fear. Waiting rooms don’t listen. They don’t understand. They surround you and stare at you and give you all the space and quiet you need so you can think of every possible horrible thing that could happen down the hall, where the docs and nurses walk around with clipboards clicking their pens. In this room, fear grows wild, weakness is all too real, and sorrow squeezes out hope. Sometimes all I know is the fear of that waiting room.

This is an inspiring story of a man who’s found something worth doing every day, no matter what it takes. A beautifully done short film.

BIRTHRIGHT from Sean Mullens on Vimeo.

Whether it’s in a corporate culture, or in the church, one of the greatest challenges for any leader in an organization is the art of leading up.  Here are 6 keys to leading up, adapted from John Maxwell’s book, 360 Leadership.

1.  Get the big picture.  Don’t get too comfortable with your silo or area of expertise.

2.  Build a relationship with your supervisor.  Find common ground, learn their language, and do it with integrity.  Remember – lead up, don’t suck up.

3.  Be considerate of time. When you set up a meeting with a supervisor or boss, don’t go in having no idea what you’re going to talk about.  A helpful rule of thumb in preparing for a meeting with your boss – spend at least an equal amount of time in preparation as you do in conversation.

4.  Choose your battles carefully. Know where you want to risk your capital, and always sleep on it!

5.  Become a go-to player. Identify what asset or expertise you bring to the organization that no one else has.  As a corollary, be quick to identify the gifts of other people – pay it forward, and over time your strengths will be recognized as well.

6.  Never stop learning.  Immerse yourself in literature related to your field, because you never know when you’ll be asked to strategic insight.  A helpful saying – “The only difference between who we are now and who we’ll be in 5 years is the people we meet and the books we read.”

A friend of mine took this picture on Saturday at Mavericks.  That people let a jet ski tow them into something so fierce is beyond my understanding.

Missional Church = simple.

Catalyst recently named Matt Mooney to their young influencers list – he started something called the 99 Balloons Project.  Get some kleenex.  This is powerful.

About a year ago, Craig Groeschel introduced these five big questions that biblical communicators should ask every time they enter the study, in preparation of a message. They stare at me from the wall above my desk, and remind me what’s really at stake in communicating the story of God:

1. How has this text affected you?
2. How have you failed in the area this Scripture addresses?
3. What about this text makes you uncomfortable?
4. What do you feel about what this Scripture is saying? (I know our feelings don’t trump scriptural truth, but talking about how we feel about the text can help engage others at a deeper level).
5. How are you becoming different because of your study in God’s Word?